Mom Update - June

From Mom's friend Eli:

Hi everybody,
Last Saturday we went to the hospital for Rebecca to have bloodwork and cat scans on her 60 day follow up, and today she had an appointment with the oncologist to get the results. I'm glad to report that the news is all good. The medications she's taking for pain haven't had to be increased for several weeks now and the amounts seem to keep the pain managed pretty well. Each morning she takes a morphine tablet and again just before bed, and if she starts to feel it during the day, she has a choice of vicodin or aleve (the Dr. prefers that she take the vicodin over the aleve to cut down on any kidney damage) whenever she feels she needs one or two of them.

The CT scans looked good - the cancer doesn't seem to have spread since the scans from 60 days ago which means the daily "cancer" pill - the hormone inhibitor - seems to be slowing down the growth and doing what it's supposed to do. She will continue to take the monthly injections to keep her bones from softening as quickly. Her breathing has improved tremendously and he didn't hear any fluid in her lungs - much better than when she went into the hospital in March. The one area that has changed is the left arm lymph nodes where the breast cancer originated - they seems have had some changes and growth - he plans to continue watching that area. She'll go back in 60 days (August) to be x-rayed and have blood work again. I'll let you know immediately when we get any results.

The bloodwork, overall, was good too. The red and white blood counts still indicate the cancer is there but in 60 days it hasn't dropped by a large amount - very small decrease and he was pleased with that too. He encouraged her drink lots of water to keep her body flushed out, to keep walking as much as possible and not rely totally on the wheel chair in order to try to keep her strength up (she's been doing better at pushing the wheelchair until she gets tired, then riding the rest of the way). This afternoon, she walked all the way from my car to the front door of the living center - further than she's been able to for a while.

Overall, the reports were all good - and she is very relieved about it. I think we were both a little worried at what we'd hear. Lots of prayers have been sent up for her for healing and it seems to be working - keep it up :)

Mother's Day Trip

24 hours isn't a lot of time to spend with your family; however, having not spent a Mother's Day with my mom since I was in my teens warranted just an occasion.

I have to say that taking a flight on stand-by is a little nerve wracking when you have limited time. Luckily, this trip I was able to get on both of my flights OK, although it looked like it might be a little dicey there on the trip home. In addition, flying on small planes that hold 50 people are somewhat uncomfortable at best - however, can't really complain when I'm able to save some $$ on my trips. The next trip should have me in Dallas the 3rd week of June.

Mom is doing OK for now. The doctor took a second blood test as they apparently weren't sure the first results came back correctly - but they came back the same. Her general health has overall improved; however, the cancer is still trudging on in her body. Mom's right shoulder gives her the most amount of pain; she lays on her side to relieve that pressure so not sure that she sleeps all that well. She is on Oxycodone and morphine pills; says the pain relievers don't work. However, within an hour of taking the Oxycodone, she felt good, little to no pain so it must be working. She's afraid of becoming addicted to the drug; my mantra of "don't chase the pain" doesn't seem to be working really well right now; however, I think she's starting to see the value of that.

We spent my time there pretty much talking which we've typically not had much of a chance to do in many years. I'm not one to talk a whole lot as I think what I have to say isn't all that interesting, so she told me some family stories from when she was in her late teens/early 20s. I have a lot of info I really want to gleen from her, so I'll be recording stories the next time I see her. We also went through a lot of pictures (which I think is a mere fraction of what she has) and some valuables that she has, including an old "IKE" pin that was given to her by my grandfather. It's still in great condition - she had me take that so I can keep it safe somewhere; think I better invest in a safe deposit box soon.

For Mother's Day, mom's friend Eli made some little gift packets for the ladies staying at the facility from Avon samples that she has acquired being a rep. She wanted to get them out of her house into the hands of those that can use them. Eli put them in these nice little colorful plastic wrappers and then into a basket lined with an old lace curtain (or maybe it was a tablecloth). She put a sign on it that said it was from my mom and her "Avon friend." The ladies really appreciated them and mom actually met more residents; she's been there for 5 weeks and hasn't really ventured out to meet anyone besides those that are at her assigned table in the dining room. I always find it very fascinating to learn about the lives of these folks; their tales of the depression and jobs in their early years are interesting to hear.

If you haven't had the chance to send mom a card or letter or call her, I encourage you to please do so. She sees a lot of her local friends, but said she hasn't heard from much family yet. You can send mail to the following address:

Rebecca Allard
c/o Dayspring Assisted Living
6400 Cheyenne Trail #220
Plano, TX 75023-3774

If you need her phone number, feel free to email me and I'll send it to you.

Another Trip

I'm headed down to Dallas to see mom for a quickie Mother's Day trip - leave Saturday afternoon, come back on Sunday evening (hopefully - if a seat is still available or I get to wait until Monday). Not much to report right now; doctor did some blood work last week, but couldn't get solid results, so took more blood on Friday - guess they'll know more this week about what is going on. Mom said they talked about putting her on some mild chemo or doing some small doses of radiation to hopefully help with the pain she feels in her shoulders. I'll report what I learn after this weekend.

It's been a busy week or so - finishing off papers and studying to take finals so I can close out two of my classes; then I'll have 4 certificates to obtain that will show how much closer I am to that degree. I have debated about taking at least one class during the summer semester, but I'm almost afraid to take on anything right now - I'm carrying such a great grade point average that I don't want to put it into jeopardy with all of the distractions. So, I'll probably wait until fall but even then will be kind of a crap shoot. I hate not being able to make a plan - as soon as I get everything put into place, a monkey wrench gets thrown into everything. Patience will just have to preside for now.

Goodbye to Grandma

My dear grandmother, Juanita Mescal Daugherty, passed away on Sunday, April 17th. I was at a Rockies game with some friends; when I saw my uncle Jim calling, I knew what had happened. I spent the rest of the game pretty melancholy; although you know something is going to happen to someone you love in the near future, it doesn't make it any easier when they actually pass.

I flew out on Tuesday where my cousin Brett picked me up. There had been some rough, rainy weather before I got there, so the highways were a little backed up. We took some back roads and a state highway to finally get back into Cincinnati. We headed straight to my aunt Connie's for a beans and cornbread dinner - I was so happy for that meal. Grandma always fixed that for me whenever I visited; guess I'd call it a "signature" meal within the Daugherty side of my family.

That night, we rode out a pretty severe storm system that had tornadoes, hurricane winds and heavy rain. Brett's house is about a block from a fire station where apparently the tornado warning sirens are located; that was definitely a noisy night.

The services for Grandma were nice, although I could do without the open casket - I know Grandma didn't care for that much, either. She didn't look like herself when looking straight at her; they always seem to distort the mouth when they glue it together. I saw so many family members that I hadn't seen in years; we definitely had a full house. We went to uncle Stuart's house afterwards and chatted with people for hours. Their church provided enough food to feed an army, I swear! Being with my family was certainly the most calming thing for me.

I spent time with my aunt Barb (uncle Jim's wife) on Thursday; she had just lost her mother about 3 weeks before, so it's all pretty hard on her. She's been staying at her mom's house since her aunt Helen is in town until July; so I fixed breakfast for everyone and we just hung out and laughed for a couple of hours. We went back that night with pizza's and my cousin Tammy and her family came to visit with us. It was great to spend some quality time with them - if it weren't for the humidity, I would live much closer to all of them. But this dry climate person just doesn't handle the atmosphere there very well.

Now that it's all over, guess I'll concentrate on finishing my classes and mom. I'll send out some updates on her shortly.

Grandma says the Darndest things

From my cousin Brett: "I got such a kick out of this. I visited Grandma on Saturday and listened to her complain about everything, especially the food (she's 95 and in a nursing home). I didn't go back Sunday with Mom and Faith. Grandma is having trouble with her foot, no circulation, so quite painful. The nurse came in Sunday and was checking her foot out, then commented what she needed to do. Grandma said, "you know what would make my foot feel better? A big pile of bacon." Go Grandma!

Dallas - Trip #1

Arrived Saturday at 1:30pm. It was a nice day. Mom and Eli picked me up from the airport; we went from there to an extended stay hotel to check in as apparently mom wanted have me close. When we got to the hotel, I put mom into a wheelchair; she just cannot walk very far, she is so weak. Once we got to the room, I put mom's things away and we left her to rest - where she promptly parked herself into a chair and turned on the TV.


After we got mom settled in, Eli and she showed me the first of two assisted living facility not far from mom's apartment; it was nice, astetically pleasing both inside and out. She showed me the main areas (there was one) and a room that would work for mom. Nice, but seemed a bit impersonal.

We then went to mom's apartment. I knew I was walking into a mess; Eli had gotten a lot done, but there was so much more to do. The bathroom is pretty much unusable; there are tons of boxes and plastic storage bins in all shapes, sizes and types you could think of, stacked everywhere. We moved a few things, took out some trash and a box of books to donate and left. I went out and got mom and I something to eat then went back to the hotel to hang out for awhile. After talking with mom about furniture, I left for a bit to investigate beds; she decided that she wants an adjustable bed so I went on a search for that, a wall power source for my iphone and a battery for hers. Pretty uneventful.

Today, mom was going to go to church but didn't feel up to it so I went with Eli. Its held in a middle school and mostly for people "ages 50 and better" (that's what the church info says, I swear). There were probably 50-60 people there; nice bunch of folks. Met the pastor who reminds me of my cousin Tammy's huChand Jeff with hair combed in a slicked back way and tall (but older and grayer, of course). Eli is holding a dinner at her house tomorrow night with us, the pastor and a few friends from church to pray for her health. That ought to be interesting.

So anyhooo, after church we grabbed lunch, took it back to mom and then got her up and out to check another facility; it was started by a church and is completely

Happy Opening Day!

What a great day for baseball - 1/2 day off from work, beautiful weather (70s), capped off with a loss :( But thats OK - a day at a baseball game, win or lose, is better than spending a Friday afternoon at work if you can make it happen. Especially when its opening day! I left work at 11:30, parked around 10 blocks away for cheaper parking and purposes of exercise (maybe it was 12, I haven't counted yet), picked up some Quiznos and was in the Stadium by 12:30. There were bands playing in the streets, bouncy thingys (not for adults apparently), lots of food and trinkets and people running around everywhere. My baseball buddy (and good friend) Kirsten showed up about an hour later with her son Kenny and brother Mark. Rockies started out great, but faltered about mid game, losing 7-6 in 11 innings. Still an exciting game, but when are they going to get rid of Huston Street? He loses opportunities for us too often; time to think about letting him loose. But all is well in the baseball world - we have tickets to see the Cubs on April 17, Jimenez Bobblehead day :)

Words

Cancer. I'm really sick of hearing the word. I have a couple of friends suffering through cancer; I have family members in varying stages of cancer; just watched an episode of "Rescue Me" where one of the characters finds out he has kidney cancer. It's all around us. At the Mammoth game Saturday night, it was "LaCROSS out" cancer night to raise money for the National Cancer Society. Players wore different color ribbons recognizing the types of cancer they have seen affect family members or maybe even experienced. Cancer is the buzz word of 2011 apparently. Let's fix this, find a cure for that. What's frustrating is that varying cures have been discovered, but the FDA won't allow it as it would put drug companies out of business (you might think I'm blowing smoke out of my ass, but do some research; you'll find out, too). Damn government. If we bankrupted the drug companies, drug prices would HAVE to go down and then people could afford to take care of themselves. But they support the government as well, so all those taxes would go away and the government would go even MORE broke. I think they should make the drug companies to pay for health insurance. Hey - what a concept!! (Getting off of my political soap box, now.)

The stress I feel over this right now isn't a head pounding, tearing my hair out type of stress. It's more like a calm before the storm. I think that storm will take a few months to hit; but when it does I'm absolutely afraid of how I'm going to react or feel emotionally or even physically. I'm tearing up just thinking about it right now. This has already been a year of unexpected deaths; the ones that you expect aren't any easier. I feel fear for my mom - what is she thinking? Is she scared knowing that she's not going to live nearly as long as she thought she would? How do you find peace with that? These thoughts go through my mind constantly; I just can't turn it off. That's probably one of the reasons I am so excited for Friday - Opening Day. A time to not think about everything for a little bit; let loose, cheer for my team, hope for a win. Baseball is going to be my escape this year. I'm even planning on going to games in Dallas if the timing works over the next few months - even if I have to go by myself. I'll let you know how that goes.

2011 - A Bumpy Start

These past few months have been extremely challenging and wearing on me. In January, my circle of friends lost one of our own when Connie passed away. If you've read my blogs from a couple of years ago, I mention Connie as we were coping with the diagnosis of stage 4 cancer as well as subsequent and very quick death of our friend Kim. She was such a rock - she kept me informed, kept Kim calm and through it all, we became ostracized by her soon to be ex-husband and kids but we didn't care; we were just helping Kim fulfill her last wishes. I hate it when families make it all about them.

I met Connie in the Jaycees 16 years ago when I was a newbie and attending a conference in Dillon; during lunch, these two HUGE guys come trotting in wearing cowboy hats, carrying ropes and riding stick horses. They are looking around the crowd for someone on a wanted poster that has an outline but no picture. The "cowboys" stop at a table near the front of the room and read a few funny words, then say this 5 digit number. Everyone erupts into cheers; this is when I learned what a Senatorship is in our organization - an honor bestowed upon those that have spent countless hours volunteering, leading, and whatever else a bunch of people see as a good reason to give this prestigious award. Connie was the one person I have known that has been truly deserving of that award; not just then but even to this day. What a legacy she has left.

Connie was such a good person. She helped me during my Jaycee years as I learned to be a leader, dealing with some trying issues but guiding me to become a well-rounded, resourceful person. She was kind, had this contagious laugh and always had a good word to say to everyone. When she went into the dumps for a couple of years, I spent weeks trying to get her out and about doing things with me or our group of friends. When she finally returned my phone call after a couple of months of weekly phone calls, the first thing she said to me was "I'm glad you didn't give up on me." After that, we had dinners at her house; went to concerts and festivals; took small hikes around and in town and just had fun together in general. Her death hit many of us very hard; she was so loved by many. I still miss her very badly - get choked up talking about her.

A couple of weeks ago when I came back from my trip to Cincy, I found out that another friend of mine had died; this one committed suicide. Although I hadn't talked to Chris in a few months, I was very sad. I wonder what is so bad that someone feels they need to end their pain? To the vast majority of us, there is a way to persevere. Guess for some, that isn't as easy. Chris was a troubled soul, but a good kid. I hope he has found the peace he so desperately was seeking.

As I reflect back on the many people in my past that have left this life and those that will in the not-so-distant future, I feel fear for them - and for me. What are they thinking or feeling? Are they scared? I know I am. My biggest fear is not doing enough help to my loved ones when they need me the most. How do you help and comfort them? What do you say? I have literally pondered this every day since January 19th, the day I found out Connie died. Guess all we can do is the best we know how and quit worrying if we are doing enough. This doesn't comfort me much right now, but I gotta learn sometime.

Wow It's Been Awhile!

Here I thought I had at least put up pictures of the home improvements last summer, but apparently I didn't save them correctly since they aren't here. Oh well, a project for another day. Since I see/talk to most of you on somewhat often basis (in person, via email or Facebook or both in person AND on Facebook), most of you know what has been going on with me. The rest just check on here to see if I have updated - so you 2-3 people should be pleasantly surprised. However, I will do a brief synopsis of items since my last post:

The Weight Watchers Report
You know that "kinda do it, kinda works" philosophy? That's me! My friends Kirsten and Kris are doing this with me; I think for the duration of time and weight lost, Kris is doing better than both of us. Although I'm not at a point where I want to be (or feel I SHOULD be), I still have to be happy with the changes in my life. Eating much differently, exercising at least 3 times a week and trying to keep a better outlook on life has helped. I've lost 12% of my original weight, so really can't complain about that.

The Townhouse Report
The uncles (Jim and Lonzo) came out to my house last summer with "cousin Eddie" and worked on my master bathroom, downstairs half bath and laundry room. I learned how to tile - well, at least how to grout - and they learned that I'm not a big talker much of the time. Along with my friend Mike who came and helped me finish up some detail work, I have some very nice improvements that have increased my property value. Feel free to ask them about our "redneck" experience if you haven't heard it from me already. Anyway, still lots to do, but it is all a work in progress.

The "Sports Buff in Me" Report
Opening Day is in 10 days!!!!! I'm so ready for baseball and that first game of the season! Our hockey team, the Avalanche, has absolutely been absent from the ice since the All-Star break (have a partial season package for them); our pro-indoor lacrosse team, the Mammoth, are sucking as well (5 yr season ticket holder; they traded to get Gavin Prout back into the lineup - THAT ought to be interesting); our basketball team, the Denver Nuggets FINALLY have a contention team now that we traded Carmello Anthony to the Knicks who are SUCKING wind and pro-football players are still a bunch of crybabies. How's that for a sports wrap-up in my world?

The GRANDMA Report
Went to Cincy a couple of weeks ago to see my grandmother for the last time. I wish I had the voice my cousin Faith does, as apparently she can communicate with grandma great; me, not so much. It was hard to say good-bye to her for the last time; however, the woman has had a full life. A couple of my cousins are working to collect some stories for the Ancestry.com Daugherty family tree.

The MOM Report
As a few of you know, my mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that has spread over the vast majority of her bones. I am not going to go into the sordid details right now, but the simple fact is that she had breast cancer years ago that she didn't get treated properly. I only found out about it last fall; my doctor put it in my chart a short couple of weeks later. Having both a mother and grandmother with post-menopausal breast cancer is really a pretty scary thing for me to think of; luckily, I'm very pro-active with my health and my doctor is great about asking questions and watching for things. In fact, I'm going to be due for my yearly physical and boob-squishing session within the next 2 months. Going to get those scheduled NOW!! I'll post updates on here as I can; I'm headed to Dallas in a couple of weeks so that will give me plenty of time to reflect. . . and vent.

That's it for now. I'll write more later - I promise! :)

By the way - found my blog entry on the townhouse improvements (and based on what you see, you'll know why I gave up and just posted the stupid thing). I promptly posted while I was in edit mode on this one . . . . go figure.